Name: LOOKING BACK
Duration: P00H04M03S
Description: A letter to my birth mother. A confession of disdain from myself to her. She died a year after this song was written. I'm not sure how I feel about what I wrote, but I can't let grief cloud my truth.

LOOKING BACK

from MALE (The Pre-JACKIE Mixtape) by JACKIE EXTREME

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

Purchasable with gift card

name your price
Buy the Full Digital Album
Full Digital Discography

18

releases

Get all 18 JACKIE EXTREME releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of crash, JACKIE HOLIDAYS, hebephrenia, ONYX, BUY ME NOW, SIREN SONG, BUBBLEGUM (WET & NASTY MIX), MALE (The Pre-JACKIE Mixtape), and 10 more. , and , .

Purchasable with gift card

$45.99 USD or more (30% OFF)

about

A letter to my birth mother. A confession of disdain from myself to her. She died a year after this song was written. I'm not sure how I feel about what I wrote, but I can't let grief cloud my truth.

lyrics

SPRINKLE THE SALT
I WAS BORN A DEVIL CHILD
EVERYBODY HAD THEIR ASSUMPTIONS
BEFORE I HIT THE WILD

I WAS NUMB
I WAS NUMB
WHEN I ESCAPED THE WOMB
OF THE WOMAN WHO CARRIED ME WITH A GRUDGE
WHOSE DISPOSITION OF ME NEVER BUDGED
BUT I WEPT WHEN THE WOMAN WHO KEPT ME
ALL THESE YEARS DECIDED I WAS MORE
THAN JUST A SPAWN
OF SATANS TEARS

SHE DECIDED TO GIVE IT A TRY
SHE KNEW THE BABY THAT CRIED WOULD HAVE A LIFE OF LOVE
AND GOODNESS ALL HIS LIFE
ALL HIS LIFE

BUT LOOKING BACK
DID YOU REALLY LOVE ME?
LOOKING BACK
DID YOUR HEART BREAK WHEN SHE TOOK ME?
LOOKING BACK
ARE YOU WISHING THAT YOU KEPT ME?
ARE YOU WISHING THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR WAYS?
LOOKING BACK
LOOKING BACK
OH - OH
LOOKING BACK
OH - OH
LOOKING BACK
OH - OH

THERE'S A SPOT IN MY HEART WHERE YOU LIE
A SPOT IN MY HEART WHERE DREAMS GO TO DIE
A SPOT IN MY HEART THAT FEEDS FROM LUNGS THAT SIGH
DAIKIRAI, DAIKIRAI
I HAD SO MUCH IN YOUR DIRTY HOUSE
BUT NEVER ANYTHING THAT NOURISHED ME
OR WENT IN MY MOUTH
I HAD MATERIAL OBJECTS THAT WE HAD TO GIVE AWAY
WHEN YOU DECIDED THAT NEEDLES WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME

BUT LOOKING BACK
DID YOU REALLY LOVE ME?
LOOKING BACK
DID YOUR HEART BREAK WHEN SHE TOOK ME?
LOOKING BACK
ARE YOU WISHING THAT YOU KEPT ME?
ARE YOU WISHING THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR WAYS?
LOOKING BACK
LOOKING BACK
OH - OH
LOOKING BACK
OH - OH
LOOKING BACK
OH - OH

credits

from MALE (The Pre-JACKIE Mixtape), released March 5, 2021

license

about

JACKIE EXTREME

- does not exist.

linktr.ee

contact / help

Contact JACKIE EXTREME

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like JACKIE EXTREME, you may also like:

MUTANTS VOL. 4: LOVE
by MUTANTS

supported by 14 fans who also own “LOOKING BACK”

It’s a wild ride through all kinds of wonderful electronic sounds. sullivanchinstrap
go to album
7G
by A. G. Cook

supported by 10 fans who also own “LOOKING BACK”

a.g. cook's debut is unlike anything else, perhaps the single most ambitious project i've ever listened to. lostinthewrld
go to album
Appleville (Golden Ticket)
by PC Music

supported by 10 fans who also own “LOOKING BACK”

maybe the best album, ever aliteralcrouton
go to album
1905
by Omma

featured on Bandcamp Radio Oct 1, 2019
go to album
Air Condition
by Lewis CanCut

Minimalist, intelligent electronic explorations with plenty of ambient space sounds defy easy categorization. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 24, 2019
go to album
Perfect Darkness
by ako

The new single from ako takes a decidedly woozy take on club music, with dreamy vaporware aesthetics and a deliciously laconic beat. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 29, 2022
go to album
Lovestory
by Desired

supported by 8 fans who also own “LOOKING BACK”

I liked Desired's self-titled release very much, so had to get "Lovestory" as well, its style feels the closest. Desired must be a fan of the 80ies "Cat's Eye" anime, as tracks 1 and 8 are from its soundtrack. Leading Motive
go to album